Scientists Continue Brave Search for Excuses to Cheat on their Wives

For wives who have been cheated on, biologists have this consolation, "Hey, eagles, beavers, and geese do it too." Oh, also geese eat worms and shit wherever they feel like it, so think of how lucky you are I don't do that, honey! Now if only we could prove that animals pay for sex, to the tune of $80,000 - then all our problems would go away!