Banks Now Putting Money in Mattresses

After IndyMac's high-profile bank failure, other at-risk U.S. banks are buying tens of thousands of mattresses and storing their money in them. The last 24 hours have seen a run on mattresses to the point where there are mile-long lines outside of Sleepy's, who for the first time announced, "We are no longer slashing prices. In fact, for the first time, our prices are reasonable."

Hardest-hit were the customers of "Jeff's Savings and Loan" who went to retrieve their money on Friday only to learn that Jeff wasn't running a real bank out of his camper.