Starbucks announced today they are closing 600 stores, all on the same street. Citing a downturned economy and the fact that many consumers have switched to heroin, the company plans to slow its expansion back down to "Metastic tumor-type rates." Starbucks is also offering a new line of lower cost products including:
- A cup of foam (50 cents)
- A cup (25 cents)
- A nickel (10 cents)
- Used coffee grounds (20 cents)
- "Akeelah and the Bee" DVDs (30 for a dollar)
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